Lost a loved one
Lately I have been dreaming about my Grandmother from my Father’s side. In a few days it will be the 3rd year anniversary of her passing away. This woman was by far one of the most admirable because of who she was. She was always there to listen, to laugh, to share, and to love unconditionally. Every time I saw her in the kitchen cooking, she would always offer me a plate even if she only made enough for herself. She was also one of the strongest women I have yet to know. She outlived her husband of 50 years and had to bury 2 children. She endured so much emotional pain and still managed to bring comfort and solace to others.
It was one of the most painful losses of my lifetime so far. A pain that shook my core. An emotion that physically manifested and hurt me in ways I never knew possible. A pain not even felt giving birth to a child. A pain that does not have a specific timeline of when it will subside. Even though time has passed, for me a shadow looms by in the distance. The shadow of missing her, of wishing she was still here. Some days that shadow is much bigger than others. It isn’t easy to move forward as if nothing happened. It isn’t easy knowing what you know now, and not having that person within reach or even a phone call away.
So, what can you do when you feel this wave of sadness pull you into the ocean of have-nots? What I have done is first is spend some moments alone acknowledging what I am feeling. Why? Because what you feel is real. It is real to you and it is telling you something. Second, take notice of what that is pointing you towards…...could it have been something that reminded you of your loved one, a memory that popped into your head, or even dreams. Third, guide your thoughts to one of your favorite anecdotes. Remember the strongest hug, the sweetest words, or the uncontrollable laughter you shared with that person. Sit with those memories and truly take yourself back as if you were reliving it. Lastly, do not forget to honor their memory so they can continue to live in your heart and in your life.
For some, the pain is too new to share and others the memory is so strong you can’t help but to share their greatness. Whatever point you find yourself remember you are not alone. There is a love out there that has been given to you freely. I know that a burden shared becomes a lighter load. I believe no one should go down this life without someone to listen to what they have to say. I share because I know there are others that have felt this pain and would like to share their story as well. If you would like to, feel free to share in the comment section below so we can remember together.